You contemplate marriage when you know she is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.
Marriage is a commitment, if you are not ready for it then I advise you to refrain from jumping into it. Most divorces take place because the guys are not mature enough to shoulder the responsibilities which come with marriage or they make a bad choice with respect to the girl.
Use the below check list to get a reality check on if you are ready to marry your girlfriend.
Is She Right For You?
Reality check entails that you evaluate without emotions or passion. You might be deeply in love with your girlfriend but is she right for you? Does she love you as much as you love her?
You can check out this article how do I know if my girlfriend is right for me? to get some pointers you need to pay heed to.
If you feel a sense of lack somewhere in the relationship, you need to tread cautiously. It would not be long before this sense of lack amplifies and it can be dangerous for your marriage. Find out why you are feeling this way and see if you can work it out with your girlfriend.
Are You Compatible Enough To Live In The Same House?
Love is blind they say, marriage can give you a rude awakening if you are not careful.
Are you both house compatible? How comfortable are you when you have practically lived in each other’s pockets. Sharing the same bathroom, bedroom and TV requires a lot of compatibility.
We all have personal habits which can be annoying to others. Your girlfriend might have habits you don’t like and vice versa. When you marry her, you also marry her personal habits. Small things can become important later, for example
- Is she a late sleeper or does she hit the sack early?
- Does she spend hours in the bathroom?
- Is she a cleanliness freak? (some girls are)
- Do you have similar interests in food?
The list can go on and on actually. It’s all about how well you know her. After marriage you will be living in each other’s skins and there will be a lot of space invasion.
There will be no privacy after marriage, so all your personal habits will come out in the open.
Tried A Live-In For A Month?
There is no better test of compatibility than a live-in. If your girlfriend has been living in her apartment or with her family, you could ask her to shift in with you for a month, just to get the hang of things.
If you have never done a live-in before, you will be surprised at the sudden invasion of privacy that both of you experience. You will get a first hand experience of all her habits and routines starting with the number of hours she spends in the bathroom to the number of chick flicks she watches on TV.
Since there is no privacy, you cannot do things you were so used to doing alone. You might also feel a bit irritated initially for having to deal with a bit of nagging every now and then.
Live-in is a sure fire test of compatibility. I would recommend that you try it before marriage no matter how close, you think, you are with your girlfriend.
Your Career And Marriage
Some guys feel the need be stable in their careers before even thinking about marriage. In reality, this is just a mind thing. You can carry on working on your career even after marriage.
If your girlfriend truly loves you, she will be understanding about your financial status and would not put undue pressure on you. Most girls are self sustained in today’s age so it’s not like you have to support her financially.
Once you have kids, your wife might prefer staying at home and taking care of them and you might also prefer that. In that case you would be the sole bread winner.
Developing a level of financial maturity is very important for a stable marriage. You need to provide for your family. You don’t have to aim for luxuries, but you should be able to provide the basic necessities like a secure home, transportation, medical attention and food.
If your career is unstable you can work it out with your girlfriend on how you would like to proceed. You can get married and decide on having kids once you are more stable in your career.
The Father Of The Bride
There is a saying that in marriage you don’t marry just the girl but her entire family. If you are comfortable with her family, it’s a great thing.
Some guys never get along with the girl’s family and vice versa. Though it plays a small factor in the relationship, it could get annoying at times. During a family get together, you might feel the friction more strongly if there is any animosity between you and her family.
The father of the bride can play quite a role in ruining or building the relationship. There are some excellent father-in-laws who are completely understanding while some look to be critical about everything. You don’t have to worry about anyone’s opinion of you, but you would do well to have at-least a decent level of compatibility with her family.
The Right Time Is When You Know It’s Right
So when is the right time to marry your girlfriend? When you don’t have to ask this question to yourself. If you are thinking, is this the right time to enter into marriage? It would indicate that you are undecided.
Don’t give in to baseless fears about entering into a commitment. You cannot see beyond the mountain unless you climb it. You do need to work out the practical aspects though, being prepared would save you a lot of hassle later.
Having said that, it is also important to state that you should never enter into a commitment like marriage without being completely decided. Your instincts are your best guide for such decisions.
